Dear Privilege,

I know I haven't written to you in a while. I apologize, my mind has been occupied with other things. Other things like this. Casimir, read at your own discretion.

Dear Privilege,

My name is John. John Michael Kane. So far its been… curious. Between the one of me and two of you. I’ve gotten to the point that I can almost always tell you to two apart. I have considered offering the chance to create with you a new reality. One exclusive to us. I know that this may sound a bit confusing, but in my life, the creation of a new world is not so uncommon.
It would be a simple one. Nothing too advanced really. Not many things begin advanced. In fact I think I’ve only ever started one world as a third level. And that didn’t seem to work out so well.
For the past two months, you two have been taking absurd notice of this walking shell, this structure. And I have equally noticed the notice. Curiosity in my position being the duplicate factor. There are many possible worlds here. Feels almost like shopping honestly. I’m going to pose the question then: Will you join me and build another new reality? I am curious as to who I will be, what being I will create in such a world. Will you join me and become a world builder?
Like I said, I’ve almost gotten to the point that I can tell you apart. Almost. One of you seems to exhibit more outgoing characteristics. The other of yourself being somewhat more shy. What a test that would be.
Since I discovered the ability to generate new realities on a whim, the creation of new worlds, I have wondered about a great many possibilities. I suppose if this is to work, I’ll have to explain it to you… I’ll write you a letter. Until then, I hope you’ll accept the offer Privilege. I do very much hope.

My Dearest Privilege,

I don’t know how to start this really. We had a good talk last night right? You spoke and I spoke and we both said good things to each other right? Just like it’s… supposed to be. That day, I know, was supposed to be our very special day. Our own. And perfect. And it was my job to make it so. And… what happened? Right? You did your share, you worked your side and me? I just… slipped up didn’t I?
What can I say but the obvious? What facts can I state that will make any of that less frustrating to you? What manner of explanation, what excuse for my actions can I bring in defense? None. Because there is nothing but the obvious, there are no other facts, I have no explanation and cannot make excuses. You wonder… And do you wonder if I notice? Do you care if I did? Would you are that I cared? Or is it beyond that now…
Privilege. I have lost so much in the transition, my own becoming, my own destruction. I have lost so many natural, normal things that I had before. The things you so much enjoyed. And I struggle finding them again. Where are they? I cannot know. My assumption is that I may have accidentally destroyed them along with the world we created when I dismantled it so long ago. Along with that part of myself. When one destroys a world, that part of oneself, is destroyed also. And you have seen it. That’s why things can’t immediately be the same, just as I told you. The fire… where has it gone now? You wonder… And I take it all upon myself! Even within it, I always did. And yet I cannot find the heart I gave to you, I’m stumbling around in the darkness without a light knowing only what I am searching for, and never what I am finding. Is this it? No. Could it be this? No. The darkness having closed upon the realm that I once understood creating with its presence a writhing mass of trials and errors. And the errors strike you. And the errors are on my part. And you wonder- where have I gone?
That was to be our day. That was to be our night. And I offered beyond what I could afford. Which was… almost, nothing. And that nothing struck you. And you wondered. Because when you returned home, you received a phone call as you always receive a phone call. I have been so sinkingly considerate of the one who speaks on the end of that phone. I dare not speak a word of him. I dare not question a single act or action. I dare not breathe ill in that direction. For I am a one in debt to you, and to him. And cannot step between.
The contrast you find there. An escape from a tormented façade? A reality that you thought would be different than the reality that is? The one where I exist? Supposed to be our special day right? And I could not compete… And as such, you wondered. You wondered then and before then and you wonder now and will wonder until something either goes very wrong and perhaps right for you, or very right and I can begin to repay my debts. As they continue to pile ceaselessly around me.
I cannot be there all the time but I can be there when you desperately need. I cannot be that superhero, but I do still try. I cannot compete with what I do not have. I am not the one I once was, but I am sincere… As it is… I have nothing more than that. If you choose otherwise, I understand. I do so powerfully understand. But for your sake. I will pretend that I do not.

Dear Priviledge,

Well wasn't today a wierd day. I mean we made eye contact and everything. We haven't done that since last year. God bless you and all Priviledge, but a warm welcome comes only when you welcome the gesture. I'm still here and all... always will be. Till the friend you've been lying to swallows your hatred as his own and kills me. Best of luck with that. Have a nice life Priviledge. Have a wonderful freaking life.

Dear Priviledge Sir.

Your request for an applicable reply to your recent letter has been denied. And you will not be receiving anything of that nature at this time. However, so as to not cause dissatisfaction or inadequacy to be conveyed through this document, I will tell you a story.

There once was a man. He was born a very long time ago into the world. Now the world was a horrible place. And it would remain so for the rest of eternity. The ‘world’ in fact was destined to become a cliché. Earth was the same of the planet. But ‘the world’ would be forever used to describe the Earth’s unrighteous people and habits. And this poor man was born into it. As we all are.
This ‘world’ thing existing somewhat delicately on this Earth was no one single thing. But everyone agreed it was a problem. Somehow… Now the righteous one’s of earth had themselves a field day trying to figure out what exactly this whole world thing was up to. I mean after all there was so much to cover. The earth was home. The world was a banished thing that must be held at arms length and crossed fingers. Finally they put the fingers down and decided that they might as well get all riled up and FIGHT the world for the way of the world.
Now every good homegrown Christian knows that the way of the world leads to death and destruction. And are to avoid it at all costs. The earth found itself in the midst of a tumult of war, not fought with guns and grenades but with policy and politics. And the world, it its infinite craftiness would constantly shapeshift itself so that those good and righteous homegrown Christians fighting could never really deal with all of it.
And so the battle raged on. The earth saw the world and those fighting to destroy it cycle through so many faces and phases. For years the world was ‘drugs and alcohol’ and we fought that till the end. Then it was ‘abortion’ and we raged against that as well, abandoning the drugs and alcohol for a bigger issue. Then the world changed again and we fought hard against merely ‘teen pregnancy.’ This we battled with a sordid combination of abstinence drills and statistics about every sort of “protection” one can imagine.
These battles, all a tiny part of a much bigger war of the worlds across the face of earth became more and more violent. People began to forget why they were fighting and merely began to attack everything that resembled the ‘world.’
Modern Day – Battles in the thousands. New Face of the World: Homosexuality. And the fight cycled and began and to this day rages in hot and dastardly strikes enemy to enemy, brother to brother. The world my friend is winning. Not because they were destined to win. But because the Christians born and bred as soldiers to fight the way of the ‘world’ have forgotten that they are not fighting against something, but that they began fighting for something. Now on the playing field we see homosexuals and those… yes those that hate them. With a burning passion they hate them. Because they are the world. And these people have been fighting the world for far too long and are tired of losing to the world. And a great hate wells up within them and they fight in a rage.
But what of that man? That single man who was born so long ago into this world? He saw the fighting and the world and those battling to suppress it and saw the anger rising in his own people and said to them “You’ve got it all wrong! All wrong!” He points his finger skyward and shouts “FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD! THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY SON! THAT WHOEVER IT IS THAT WANTS ETERNAL PERFECT LIFE AND SALVATION NEED ONLY BELIEVE IN HIM AND THEY WILL HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE!”

Priviledge… People are merely blind. And all they need is someone with eye’s to open theirs. But the last thing anyone needs is another hate. And another shouting in the streets about a great new death to the world. God promised the world everlasting life. We are the world, they are the world. “For all have sinned.” God mentions no exclusives. He has not chosen a select group of people to exist on the Alcatraz of hell. It is only that the world has been so many different things. And so many different things have been hated. One day, that will be us. When the world itself has gathered enough to turn and say – “We’re going to finish this fight. And this time, you’re the bad guy.” And then we will be all crushed. In the end. And that is Revelation. And that is history. And that is present. People have merely gotten it wrong because they’ve forgotten. Rest assured. God loves your brother. I love him too. People… don’t understand. Sometimes I think they never will. But again, you can’t stop hoping.
As far as the world is concerned, I feel them all around me, each and every one is different, and yet each and every one is the same. And they all have their horrible faults, and they all have their terrific struggles. And having watched them through all these years, I am not taken by cynicism and disdain as I thought I would be. Rather, I feel them to be... a Priviledge. Each story I encounter, no matter the nature, I consider it a priviledge to have interacted with another soul. Each and every time.